When one person in the family is struggling, it often affects the whole family. Conflicts, distress or major changes can over time create patterns where we end up reacting to one another in ways that make it difficult to find our way back to connection – even though everyone actually wants the opposite.
In family therapy, therefore, we do not focus only on the individual, but on what happens between you. Together we explore the patterns and dynamics that have emerged in the family, and try to understand what lies behind the different reactions.
It may be relevant if you experience many conflicts, if communication has become difficult, or if a child or young person is not thriving. It may also be relevant in connection with divorce, blended families, grief, or other changes that affect the family and the relationships between you.
How does family therapy work?
In family therapy, the child is generally part of the conversations. Often the whole family participates, because it gives us the opportunity to explore together what is actually happening between you when things become difficult.
We can take as our starting point concrete situations from your everyday life and be curious about what happens in each person, and how you each react to one another. This makes it possible not only to talk about the family's patterns, but also to notice them while we are together.
Sometimes it makes sense for the whole family to participate. Other times we can work with different parts of the family – for example the parents together, a child and a parent, or individual family members separately. When a child participates, the conversations are always adapted to the child's age, development, and ability to take part. For children, conversations are not necessarily the best or only way to express themselves. Therefore, there may be a more playful and creative element, where we for example use play, drawing, or other ways of being together. The child does not have to be able to sit still and talk about difficult things in order to participate meaningfully. Who participates is adjusted continuously based on what makes the most sense for your family and what we are working with.
My work is based on mentalization, attachment theory, and a systemic understanding of the family. This means that we do not look for who is the problem, but try to understand the relationships and interactions that everyone in the family is part of.
When we become better at understanding what is happening in ourselves and in one another – and what lies behind the reactions we see – new opportunities often arise to meet one another differently.
Family therapy is therefore not about creating a family without conflicts or disagreements, but about creating greater understanding, more security in the relationships, and a better chance of finding one another again when things become difficult.
A typical process
- Together we create a picture of what has become difficult in the family
- We explore the patterns and relationships you experience as being stuck in
- The family's different perspectives are given space
- We work with concrete situations and what arises between you
- We try to understand what lies behind one another's reactions
- The conversations take place both together and in different constellations, when it makes sense
- Along the way, we work with new ways of understanding, meeting, and being together with one another
